Workin' 9-5...

So, I got a job! Well, that is a  job other than the one that keeps me insanely busy 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

After much discussion and contemplation, I finally decided it was time to head back to work...a little for my own sanity, a little for financial reasons, and a little to take the pressure off Mighty Dad. So, I sent out resumes, went through the interview process (which was scary in itself!) and was just offered a position as a member services representative (aka teller) at a credit union in a town 15 minutes from home. Great! So, now I have 8 days until I start. 8 days to prepare the whole family for massive changes. 8 days to figure out exactly how I'm going to balance a job, 3 kids, husband, housework, meals, grocery shopping, laundry, and life!!! Am I freaking out a little here...oh yeah!

It's not that I doubt the decision to go back to work. I know it's time. And it's not that I don't have a great support system...Mighty Dad and the mom-in-law have already figured out a schedule for watching the kids. I guess it's just a big step in letting go. Sometimes the hardest thing in the world is to just open yourself up and say, yes, I need help, I need to let go of some things for the overall good.

One of those things, which might seem trivial to others, is breastfeeding. Isabelle is nearly 9 months old and has been on solid food for about 3 months now...but still relies on me for the bulk of her daily nutrition. After a little more that 5 years of motherhood...and 2 children who weaned at about 2 years, I have NEVER given any of them a bottle of anything. I've never been the kind of mom who just pumps a bottle so I can go out for an afternoon. If I needed to go out, I took the baby with me or I was back before the next feeding. Now, don't get all upset at me...I know there's nothing wrong with doing that...it's just that I never have! So, now although I feel like a well experienced mom, this whole situation is making me feel like a bit of a newbie. And it's sort of making the guilt factor intensify. In my head, I know that the baby will be perfectly fine with cutting out her daytime nursing sessions. I know that many, many moms out there make good friends with their pumps while at work and the baby still gets all the value of breastmilk in bottle or cup form. It's just another one of those letting go moments.

I guess there are compromises to be made...so far none of them seem earth shattering...just changing. I know I will have to give up on certain aspects of house cleaning, I know I might miss a few firsts (like first steps) and some special moments. BUT, I will still have a warm, loving place to come home to at the end of the day and I will be there for the second steps and I'm just going to have to work extra hard every day to create my own special moments with my family.

So, I'll try my best to keep you posted on this crazy adventure. I'd love to hear your tips for coping!

Blessings,

Supermom (Corrie)