So, it's been about 7 months. What a ride! I just reread my last post and can't believe how much has changed in the past 7 months. I started out enjoying work. I loved getting away and using my brain and feeling like an adult again. That feeling lasted for a good 2 months...and then the honeymoon was over and reality set in. I realized that banking is NOT where I want to be and that, no matter how much I may try, I can't force myself to be happy doing something I'm not passionate about (more on that in another post). I also realized that I love being a mom. My kids are my life and when they are thriving, I am thriving.
So, armed with my realizations, and the fact that Mighty Dad's business appeared to finally be showing signs of life, I made a gruelling decision. But ultimately the only decision I COULD make. I quit my job! There was a lot of stress in our house in the weeks before I gave my notice. I struggled with what decision would be in my families best interest...to be home, nurturing and caring for my family...or to be working and bringing in an extra income to support our growing needs. Finally, the thought struck my during one sleepless night, if the world ended tomorrow, what would I regret; not working more, or not being with my kids during these precious years. It was obvious and I think the next day was the day I gave notice. I hung in until the end of August but just making the choice gave me such a feeling of relief. My faith got a big boost as well. I felt like letting go of my job was giving room to let God take over.
So, it's been 9 days since my last day of work. This past week has been full of excitement as the kids start school and the fall routines start falling into place. My first day off was packed full of cleaning and shopping and catching up and several times I found myself stopping to remember that I didn't have to get it all done in my one day off. I have felt a definate sense of relief in the house. The kids seem to be thriving in the routine. The baby has finally fallen into a consistant schedule of naps and nursings. And I sense that Mighty Dad is enjoying being about to focus on his business again...not to mention the homecooked meals and less stressed wife!
I have made some changes in how I handle being at home this time around too. I think that before going back to work, it was ALL about the kids and I sort of lost myself in all that. Working did remind my how much I enjoy using my brain from time to time...and how I need to take moments here and there to refocus and step away. I started something I have said for years I never would...running! (Gasp...more on this later too!) And I am doing my best to make a commitment to practise one of my passions...writing.
So, that's my latest confession. In the struggle to decide, I worried about what others would think about my decision; that I was being lazy or couldn't handle the pressure, or that I wasn't a 'SuperMom' afterall. In my soul though, I am at peace with the decision. I feel good and I feel healthy and I feel that I've made the best choice for me and for my family. Most of all, I feel that I have opened the door to great things because I have trusted God and my heart.
I hope this will be the start of more blog posts for me and that somewhere in cyberspace, someone will be interested in hearing about my crazy...or not so crazy life!
Blessings,
Corrie (aka SuperMom! lol)
